What It Feels Like…by the ‘BoDeans’…Taking Off On Music

Listening to tunes tonight and taking off…kinda like this…(click on pic for full effect & then, the back arrow)…

From Vancouver to Victoria...From BoDeans to Robbie Robertson

I love the ‘BoDeans’…have seen them maybe three times, but the most recent was at the pretty awesome new venue in San Diego, Anthology…it’s a small, cozy little dinner/music venue and I’ve seen it set up different ways for different groups…

They’ve been around for years…and I love the 1987 Robbie Robertson album, by the same name, which Sammy sang on with Robbie…that whole album is killer…you gotta hear Robbie’s “Somewhere Down the Crazy River“…very sexy…

Robbie Robertson

Somewhere Down the Crazy River by Robbie Robertson

Yea, I can see it now
The distant red neon shivered in the heat
I was feeling like a stranger in a strange land
You know where people play games with the night
God, it was too hot to sleep
I followed the sound of a jukebox coming from a levee
All of a sudden I could hear somebody whistling
From right behind me
I turned around and she said
“Why do you always end up down at Nick’s Cafe?”
I said “I don’t know, the wind just kind of pushed me this way.”
She said “Hang the rich.”

Catch the blue train
To places never been before
Look for me
Somewhere down the crazy river

Somewhere down the crazy river
Catch the blue train
All the way to Kokomo
You can find me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river

Take a picture of this
The fields are empty, abandoned ’59 Chevy
Laying in the back seat listening to Little Willie John
Yea, that’s when time stood still
You know, I think I’m gonna go down to Madam X
And let her read my mind
She said “That Voodoo stuff don’t do nothing for me.”

I’m a man with a clear destination
I’m a man with a broad imagination
You fog the mind, you stir the soul
I can’t find, … no control

Catch the blue train
To places never been before
Look for me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river
Catch the blue train
All the way to Kokomo
You can find me
Somewhere down the crazy river
Somewhere down the crazy river

Wait, did you hear that
Oh this is sure stirring up some ghosts for me
She said “There’s one thing you’ve got to learn
Is not to be afraid of it.”
I said “No, I like it, I like it, it’s good.”
She said “You like it now
But you’ll learn to love it later.”

I been spellbound – falling in trances
I been spellbound – falling in trances
You give me shivers – chills and fever
I been spellbound – somewhere down the crazy river

***

Okay, got WAY sidetracked by Robbie…

By the Bodeans: Love “Fool”, “When the Love is Good (I Mean Good)”, “Red River”, “Say About Love”,  they’re on tour in early 2011 in WI and MN…check them out, they leave it all out there!

BoDeans

What It Feels Like by the BoDeans

Meet, some girls every once in a while
But it’s always the same
Start out walkin’ on a sunny day
And you end up caught in the rain
Well, I’m lookin’ for somethin’ that I ain’t known
Lookin’ for somethin that’s rollin’ home

What it feels like
Wanna know, what it feels like
Yea, yea, what it feels like
To be in love, really be in love

This and that and the other thing
Don’t mean nothin’ to me
Just for once, for once in my life
I wanna be able to see
Holdin’ your hand, lookin’ in your eye
I don’t know the reason why

What it feels like
Wanna know, what it feels like
Yea, yea, what it feels like
To be in love, really be in love

And I don’t wanna say, that it’s now
Or it’s never, but I’ve waited so long
For someone who will be more than a lover, yea, yea

Oh yea, what it feels like
Wanna know, what it feels like
Yea, yea, what it feels like
To be in love, oh yea

What it feels like, to be in love
Whoa, to be in love
Yea, to be in love, oh yea

just listening to music…’the donum’

Do Not Dwell On The Past…

Okay…going to do it…not going to apologize for it…write words of truth, not my words, though I embrace their truth…let him who has eyes and ears, see and hear…and for those who don’t see and hear, I pray a seed is planted in your heart.

Ephesians 4:17-27

This I say therefore, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind,

being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;

and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.

But you did not learn Christ in this way,

if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,

that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,

and that you BE RENEWED IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR MIND,

and put on the NEW self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth.

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH, EACH ONE of you, WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.

BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

and do not give the devil an opportunity.

***

There is so much that I love about these words…be not futile (incapable of producing any useful result; pointless) in YOUR MIND, guarding your HEART…from hardness, from callousness…which leads to ignorance and exclusion from a life of God…and leads to impurities with greediness. The old self is being corrupted…

The NEW self is righteous and holy in truth…we are members of one another…so we should speak TRUTH to one another and help one another with anger…ANGER gives the devil an opportunity…AN OPPORTUNITY

Somehow, these words imply that it okay to be ANGRY and not sin…take care of it somehow, deal with it, resolve it…not sure…that’s something to look into futher for sure.

I read a great book on anger: Working with Anger by Thubten Chodron. There is a saying “take what you like and leave the rest” and that’s what I did with this book… as Chodron is a Buddhist nun and abbess…and I am not, obviously, a follower of buddha. But, there was a lot that made sense to me in the book, I think it might even be time for me to re-read it.

As to the heart, there is a book called Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge which I gave my son to read…not sure if he has…or will…but it is in his room…waiting…

I think men, in general, have more problems guarding their hearts…it’s as though the heart is a woman’s organ and off limits to the man, it seems that our culture teaches men that they must be tough, and not show heart, when in fact, women NEED men to show heart and keep it soft and unhardened…for not only themselves, but for us…females…we need soft hearted men who are in touch with their feelings and are not afraid to feel them all…saddness, joy, pain, elation…and process those emotions in a healthy, loving way.

The ‘West’ seems to teach that some emotions/feelings are good (joy, happiness, elation, etc.) and that others are BAD (anger, saddness, pain)…we are taught to AVOID all the BAD emotions and feelings…so we do. We avoid through instant gratification, shopping, drinking, using, sex, taking, self-fulfilling, dulling the feelings, blunting them, ignoring them…

I am starting to get that joy comes through serving…being aware and in tune with OTHERS…

So…I have a little story…a few weeks ago, I was walking my two dogs, Big Bear and Luna. I forgot to bring a plastic bag for possible ‘business’ and of course, LUNA, the pooper, did just that.

It was on the corner of a subdivision and right across the street were two trucks of men working on the landscape there. I felt awkward leaving it so I approached the men working and asked if I could borrow a shovel…yea, whatever…one of the men walked over with a shovel, proceeded to dig a hole in the ground, push the ‘business’ down into the hole, and cover it up. And Voilà, taken care of!

I thanked him and went on my walk with the girls, and as I circled around and came back to the men…I was suddenly overcome with an impulse…I love these impulses and I love responding to them!

I asked them if I could buy them lunch…7 Mexican landscape workers! Hesitant at first, they said, ‘Sure, ok’ and I asked them ‘que hora?’… ‘Once’

So, I went to Major Market, got a big party tray of various sandwiches, chips, desserts, drinks…and took it back. They were already sitting…some eating a little something that they brought, probably thinking that I was not going to actually show up and deliver…

They almost seemed surprised to see me and I asked for help getting all the goodies out of my suv…it was an amazing time…I stayed for one sandwich, long enough to create nicknames for all of them and take their photographs…one of them said to me that I was ‘nice people’ and I like that! I like being ‘nice people’…and I love connection with other human beings because “we are members of one another”…

"Messy" Victor Sr.

"Shy" Victor Jr.

"Pooper Scooper" Pedro

"Mango Man" Alfonso

"Translator" Efrain & "Burrito Man" Orlando

Miguel "The hider"

I speak these words to myself as well…don’t let your mind be futile, renew it (Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.), guard your hearts, lay aside the old corrupted self, speak truth, be angry yet do not sin, DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL AN OPPORTUNITY…

I Peter 5:8     Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

You have an adversary, I have an adversary…be on the alert. We are members of one another, be there for somebody…

Later on :Q

‘the donum’

Broken and Beautiful

 

 

 

 

 

Broken & Beautiful by Suzie McNeil

You fall apart and I run in from anywhere like cameras at an accident
My staring eyes
I wonder why I care
Maybe I’ll be frightened by the pain but watch your tragedy again

‘Cause you’re broken and beautiful
And you’re so damn cynical but I’m drawn in by the darkness in your eyes
And it’s beautiful
Broken and beautiful

Talking you down from ledges to stay with me
I’ll touch your sharpest edges
I’ll be the one that holds your hand while you bleed
Falling off in pieces like you do
I would hand them back to you

‘Cause you’re broken and beautiful
And you’re so damn cynical but I’m drawn in by the darkness in your eyes
And it’s beautiful
Broken and beautiful

My favorite mess
Like a magnet pulling me down until I drop
Call be obsessed with your sadness but I don’t want to make it stop

‘Cause you’re broken and beautiful
And you’re so damn cynical but I’m drawn in by the darkness in your eyes
And it’s beautiful
Broken and beautiful

And you’re not like usual
And I’m drawn in by the darkness in your eyes
And it’s beautiful
Broken and beautiful

Both Sides Now…

Two Sides

There are always two sides to a story…always.

People who think there is only one side are misguided, immature and judgemental.

  “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

 ~ Mother Teresa

It hurts deeply to have others misjudge us…it hurts even more deeply to know that some people don’t have the maturity or the desire to ask us for our side, before coming to their own conclusion, based on only half of the information.

This has happened to me so many times that I have clearly lost count…don’t want to count, it would be painful to know the number. That number would represent people who don’t really want to know…because, if you want to know, you can ask me, and I’ll tell you, at least to the best of my ability, given the truth that is in my head at that moment.

Truth does continue to come to us, thank God. We’re not dead till we’re dead.

I am facing a difficult time ahead, I can feel it, it’s not an unfamiliar place to me (difficult times) and I think I’m equipped and ready to go, but it won’t be completely pleasant, maybe not pleasant at all. But, this trip, I will pack my serenity with me and tools I’ve picked up over the past year, tools for support…my phone, my dear friends, decent, truthful, edifying words from others written and unwritten, getting together with trusted friends, spending my time in healthy ways, nondestructive manners…movies, laughing, music, books, writing, friends, exercising, trying to eat healthier (that one is hard for me)… I like my chocolate chip cookies, I like my pies, I like my Italian cooking…

But, time is not necessarily on my side any longer…I am closer to my death now than ever before, it’s a simple matter of numbers, nothing morbid…I need to make the most of my time, doing things that seem authentic to me and that I embrace, things that validate me as a woman and a human being, things I feel passionate about.

There are always two sides…please seek each side from the person who lives there, don’t settle for anything less…that is, if you desire the truth, and an accurate portrait.

You're only looking at one half, though the other half is there...

Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

Rows and flows of angel hair, and icecream castles in the air, and feathered canyons everywhere,
I’ve looked at clouds that way,
but now they only block the sun.
They rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done,
but clouds got in my way.

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now,
from up and down, and still somehow,
it’s clouds illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds…at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
as every fairy tale comes real; I’ve looked at love that way.
But now it’s just another show. You leave ’em laughing when you go
and if you care, don’t let them know, don’t give yourself away.

I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
from give and take, and still somehow
it’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say “I love you” right out loud,
dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I’ve looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads,
they say I’ve changed.
Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day.

I’ve looked at life from both sides now,
from win and lose, and still somehow
it’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all.

Later on ; )

‘the donum’

Should have included this yesterday…

I LOVE THIS!!!

What hound is this?....

The Battle…To Fight or not to Fight? That is the Question…

So, life is very mysterious…you hear it all the time, and it’s true! I have had some battles in life, many…and some of them, no, most of them, I tried to fight so hard! It’s crazy to look back and see it.

I think I am a fighter, and I have a lot of endurance, I have patience,  I have tenacity…and I always thought I should fight. OK, there was one huge area that I didn’t fight, it’s weird that I didn’t. OK, again, not weird, I’ve always been passive/agressive…learning to be assertive. Here is my passive/agressive nature:

You might get me passive, but here I am aggressive...

But, I do believe that when we try to fight so hard and control our destinies and those of others, we actually RESTRICT the movement of God and the miracles He wants to give us.

If we walk off the battlefield, there is no battle…

Step Off! White guys are good guys…

Having managed people before, I went to assertiveness training, and I did learn that being at either extreme is not really productive, constructive, effective…being dead smack in the middle, assertive, is standing up for what you believe in and being able to express it in a kind, loving way to someone who opposes you. And, simultaneously, you care, you show compassion to the other party by listening to what they have to say, hearing it and being able to respond in compassion, empathy, and a partial understanding of the moccasins they are wearing.

Walk a mile in them...

I think most people do not know how to communicate, and they are left broken and they leave brokenness and they create more brokenness. It multiples…it could have been love that was left instead. I have been told by a very dear friend, from college days, that I am a misunderstood person.

And it’s true, I feel it…that I have been misunderstood for most of my life. I found in work, as the soccer mom, wherever…that people would rather assume that I am what the rumors say, or deduce from the walls I built around myself, that I was impenetrable , aloof, stuck-up, unapproachable, tough, self-sufficient. In truth, I was a lonely, disabled soul…

Disabled Superhero, when drivin' solo

We are not created to be self-sufficient, really. We are created for connection with others. We are created to lean on others when we are weak, and allow them to lean on us when we are strong and they have their turn at weakness. We are not meant to isolate and do it alone. So, pull the plug on self reliance and learn to reach out for help, just, choose wisely, use your gut…

Go ahead, pull it, what are you afraid of?

I like being alone, I renew myself in solitude, but then, I am meant to go back out and connect, not to fight so hard…to learn how to walk off the battlefield, instead of taking on the battle. I guess it comes back to that serenity prayer that I’ve seen so many times…God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…the courage to change the things I can…and the wisdom to know the difference.

Let us deflate our defenses and surrender to let God lead us…

Self deflation, It's not the worst thing that could happen!

Simple really, there are so many, millions of things we can’t control, but we can control ourselves, we get to choose who we want to be. It reminds me of a song, like usual, everything always leads back to a song…

Toot your song, toot your horn, clandestinely if possible

Switchfoot’s song: This is Your Life:

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be
This is your life are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose

We really DO have everything to lose…everything. But, thank God that yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead, that it’s dead and over. Today, we get to be who we want to be: kind, loving, generous, patient, approachable, equal, open to life, to people, to miracles.

I’ve had a miracle lately, several really, but one in particular, and I told a friend, did the miracle just come as I was ‘movin on’?, or did my ‘movin on’ cause the miracle to happen?…interesting thought. But, either way, I’ll take the miracle and press forward to who I want to be.

Merry Christmas on 34th...and wherever you are...

Later on…;Q

‘the donum’