Remembering David

Today is the 5th anniversary of my older brother’s death, David. He died at age 52 after a ruthless fight with Multiple Myeloma, cancer of the plasma cells in the bone marrow, for which there is no cure.  

Given 2 years, he lived for 4, surviving endless chemotherapy and 2 stem cell transplants (using his own cells, taken and treated prior to chemotherapy). A donor cell transplant was the next step and I’ll never forget the phone call from him telling me that I WAS a match for him! But, he never became well enough for us to give it a try. 

He was intelligent, musically gifted, funny and a great father of two little girls! 

My brother, David

After his divorce, he wrote some of these hilarious potential single’s ads: 

Recently divorced, balding, 45+, grunt lab technician. Speech impediment, Hearing impaired (rock music), and eyesight faltering. Caustic, blunt, and extremely self-centered. Seeking firm figured, attractive 20 -ish nympho with no personality and a fat inheritance. PLEASE – no redheads. 

Quiet, stable, strong Christian father, early 40’s, seeks young co-ed, brazen party animal with low self-esteem, no family ties and lots of money. Prefer no REDHEADS, but send picture if you see fit. 

Professional gentleman, 45, handsome, entertaining, convincing liar.. seeks 80-ish Mission Hills widow, for nites of financial counseling, hot tea and contract signing. 

Out of State father, 45, broke, crude, … oily scalp, poor teeth, seeks “one nite stand” candidates. … 3 times a week – Holidays off. 

It makes me laugh just to hear him coming up with these.  

I miss you, David!

Celebrating Coral Trees

After a gung-ho start to blogging, I’ve tapered off but not lost enthusiasm. I need to get many, many pictures into digital format. Therefore, something local to my front yard… the common coral tree. That is how it’s referred to although it’s far from common.

CORAL TREE

We have maybe 5 of these trees and most of them are in the front yard. Last year I don’t remember them looking this spectacular. But now…

Nothing Can Hold Me Back

As a bonus to the beautiful color, the birds are in heaven here. When I walk out the front door, I feel like I am in a bird sanctuary. I don’t even know how many different kinds of birds live in my yard but there are scores of baby finches. See –

Baby Finches Match the Trees

The songs are so sweet and soothing. I’ve always loved birds.

Coral Fills the Sky

It’s raining orange fluffs!

 

 

 

That the birds of worry and care fly above your head,

this you cannot change.

But that they build nests in your hair,

this you can prevent.

~Chinese Proverb

Alive In This Moment

ALIVE IN THIS MOMENT

I just read a very touching article in the March 2010 issue of O. Oprah is interviewing a Buddhist monk by the name of Thich Nhat Hanh. Though, I’m a Christian, the way he spoke was meaningful to me. I will quote him: 

“Enlightenment is always there. Small enlightenment will bring great enlightenment. If you breathe in and are aware that you are alive – that you can touch the miracle of being alive – then that is a kind of enlightenment. Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.” 

“It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available – more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.” 

“Happiness is the cessation of suffering”. 

“If you are fully present, you need only make a step or take a breath in order to enter the kingdom of God. And once you have the kingdom, you don’t need to run after objects of your craving, like power, fame, sensual pleasure, and so on. Peace is possible. Happiness is possible.” 

He speaks of being mindfully present in each moment and in each activity we do.  He speaks of deep listening: 

“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart. Even if he says things that are full of wrong perceptions, full of bitterness, you are capable of continuing to listen with compassion. Because you know that listening like that, you give that person a chance to suffer less. If you want to help him to correct his perception, you wait for another time. For now, you don’t interrupt. You don’t argue. If you do, he loses his chance. You just listen with compassion and help him to suffer less. One hour like that can bring transformation and healing.” 

There is much more that I took from his words, but this is all for now, from me. When my daughter was 11 and fighting cancer, I gave up a friend I’d had for years. I was so deeply hurt that she had been my friend for so long and yet, was not “there for me” in any form in my time of very deep pain. 

On the other hand, I met a woman, very briefly, who looked at me like she was looking into my soul and after she listened, she simply said “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.” It wasn’t what she said, but the fact that she listened, and did respond, simply but deeply. She felt my pain through listening and took some if it upon herself for me. Thanks, Bev. 

I challenge myself to listen more deeply and be present. Nhat Hanh says “When you love someone, the best you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” 

Are you alive in this moment? Are you there?

The Tantalizing Tale of Thelma

(I’m switching it up with a tall tale – envision your own pictures!)

Thelma’s thyroid throbbed in her throat as she twisted her trusty thoroughbred, Thunderbolt, through the thick and thorny thicket while she tapped her tambourine against her tattoo of a tadpole on her torso to the time of a Texas tap-dance featuring Tommy Toledo’s toms toms and tree surgeon Tonia’s translucent tubas.

Meanwhile, back in the Taiwan tundra, there was no trace of the town tennis tournament and team tea party which had taken place on Thanksgiving. Only thirty tender and tough turkeys dressed in ten Turkish towels were tumbled on the tinted table top. The Thanksgiving treasure had consisted of tangerines, tarts, tidbits of tangled toad legs, toast, tangy taffy, thawed thighs of twenty tasty, tricky, twittering tweeties and tequila. How tantalizing!

After the tiny time of togetherness, Thelma’s triplets, TeTe, ToTo, and TaTa along with their cousins, HeHe, HoHo, HaHa, were trying tripods on the trampoline while in a toxic trance, their tweeded trousers all in a twirl.

But all in a twinkle, TeTe’s turquoise tutu had a typical twitch which tickled her twinging tumor, causing a twang of a tremor. While TeTe was in this terrible turmoil, ToTo took a wrong turn on the traditional turnpike riding a turtle through Toronto.

He ended up in Tokyo in a tan Toyota. There he tripped onto a timeless traffic torment of tanks, trucks, taxis and tricycles. TaTa was tired of all the trouble and tension. She threw up!

Thelma took a tailspin! Tough Tomatoes!

Tune in for another thrilling thought tomorrow.