Mae...
Sooaaa…howz everyboda doin today???
This is Mae, ya know, West, rhymes with best…and with chest too, so yea…
I’m coming to you from live satellite feed right now to give you an update on the situation that just went down over at Frau’s place the otha night.. and ya know what I always say:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
cuz ya know…”I’ve been things and seen places” and “I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.”
So, anywayz, last night, or was it the night before…who knows any more… I went to visit my good friend Frau and I found her in a very grumpy mood, that woman can be MEAN…I sometimes wonda if she’s got more testosterone than estrogen…and that ain’t right…it just ain’t right…
Geez, her unibrow was all tight and bunched up, all furry and black; just like one of those crazy catapillers ya see crawling around on the sidewalk sometimes…you know, down in the city, crawling all over leftover food just lying around..
and she had just started to fire ze lasers, so I had to step in stop her BODILY…cuz you know
“I speak two languages, Body and English and in this case, it had to be the body!!”
My Body is a Wunderland...
Yea, I found her with six men at once, imaagin that, OH…and Scott, but he don’t count!
See, “I only count two kinds of men, domestic and imported”, and that kid is neitha, trust me! He’s like a another life form, like an alien or sompthin…
SCOTT, the evil alien!
Soo, anywazzz, I tell ya, “when women go wrong, men go right after them” and Frau had gone very wrong there, very wrong. She had, like, these six men surrounding her and she was just standin there, like she didn’t know what she should do first…can you imagine?
Sooz, of course, I had to step in and do sompthin quick!
Cuz, “give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.” And I was kinda on the prowl for that very thing that night if you know what I mean…I always say, “keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.”
So, anywayz, I see ha, Frau, getting ready to fire ze lasers on these six gorgeous men and all if a sudden… I seen HIM…you know…the short bald one, Cuurly…
Cuurly
And I liked what I saw cuz you know, “a man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.” And that man looked like he had the fira…down deep like I like it…
And at first, I tried to restrain myself, but, yea, “I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far, ya know what I mean?”
Restrainin Myself
So, I moved in quick, to rescue him cuz even though I gotta boyfriend now, you neva know, so “I say save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.”
And I looked at Cuurly, and he looked at me…and I could tell there was that fira there, you know, like I said before, burnin deep.
Mista Fira Heart
“And it isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.”
TRUST me...you know you can...;)
So, I says to him, come on over here and give mama a big kiss and I’ll take you right outta here and save your short, dumpy ass…and your bald head too…
So, maybe he’s got a little hair, it’s hard to tell, I was kinda distracted right here…
So, anywayz, he did come ova and lay one right on my big, poutin lips and leeme tell you, “I’m here to say that an ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises!”
And that man has more than an ounce, lemme tell you! A man’s kiss is his signature and Cuurly’s signature is his amazing kiss… it was long, it was deep, it cuuurled my very toes, they don’t call him Cuurly for nuttin!
“And when I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better”. So, we’ll see…I just might be my best with this short, little dumpy, bald guy…ya neva know what might happen in life…it’s ful a mysterys and advencha!
“Just rememba…Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.”
“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before”, and I ain’t neva tried his kinda evil…I’m kinda lookin forward it!!
Donum of Visum 